Review: The Green Hornet (1/2 star)

Jay Chou (left) as Kato, sidekick to
Seth Rogen's "The Green Hornet"

Well now I just feel like a big meanie. I stand by every word in my harsh review "The Green Hornet" but, after reading the "reviews" by the sweet middle school girls on the U-T's movie panel, I am reminded how long-dead that kid inside me is. The kid who just showed up at the cineplex and darn well liked whatever movie gave me the chance to hang out with my friends for a few hours and eat candy without any parental disturbance. Of course, movies didn't cost two weeks' allowance back then -- and walking up that hill barefoot in the snow was also kind of a drag.

For any discerning grownups out there, go see Mike Leigh's "Another Year," which opens in San Diego this weekend. Or just rent "Kick Ass" if you're in the mood to let off a little pubescent steam without feeling entirely insulted.

Reviews: "Somewhere" and "Blue Valentine"

Talk about opposite ends of the opinion spectrum. This week I reviewed Derek Cianfrance's "Blue Valentine" (3 1/2 stars), an intense look at the disintegration of a marriage, and "Somewhere" (1 star), Sofia Coppola's blank stare at a privileged movie star (Stephen Dorff) hanging out in the same room as his perfectly pleasant daughter (Elle Fanning).

I relished "Blue Valentine," though wasn't surprised in the least to see that the Union-Tribune's two "citizen critics" (regular folks who share their opinions alongside mine) absolutely hated it. The relationship between Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling's characters isn't easy to watch, and you don't entirely like how they behave either. But real relationships aren't always as lovable as a Jennifer Aniston rom-com and I can see how a feature length sit-down with the truth about love's failings could inspire a strong negative reaction for some people. As for me, I thrive on films that are able to portray some truths about the human experience--even if you don't exactly like what you see.

Unfortunately for me, I had to sit through "Somewhere" twice-- first when I got the screener in November to see if it was worthy of Best of 2010 consideration (wrote off that idea in the first 10 minutes), and again this month when I decided to review it. Now I think I deserve some sort of hazard pay, but at least Elle Fanning (Dakota's little sister) is a pleasure to watch-- even if she's reduced to a wisp of character.

This weekend, I'm hitting the Gaslamp theater to revel in the craziness of Dogtooth. Hope to see you all there!